My I have this dance?

So I thought I was in.  He was brave enough to come to my home.  I set about preparing something to eat.  I didn't have much, but we didn't need anything special.  I threw together a stew from a little of this and a pinch of that and just a touch of whatever that was...

We sat down and ate.  Neither one of us daring to break the ever vigilant silence that had fallen over the hut.  I wondered how far he would let me go.  How much was he willing to do now that it was "safe" here in my home. Only one way to find out.

After we finished, we sat down in front of the fire.  We watched as the red-orange dancers licked the charring logs.  I slid my paw over to his leg and touched it gently.  Trying to play it off as some kind of accident and that I didn't notice I was touching him.  He just sat there unflinching.  Phase one of my plan was complete.  I smiled on the inside as my bravery grew.  I decided to take a slightly more bold action.

I moved my paw up to his thigh, in a more deliberate action and rested it there.  Still he did not shy away.  Neither did he look at me however.  Trying to play coy, like he didn't know what was going on.  Now I was sure I was going to be able to make my move.  So I tried phase three.

I leaned over and licked his cheek.  This time he did look at me.  At first with shock, then he smiled.  He turned and ran his wet nose across mine.  I gave him a gentile kiss on the nose.  He returned the favor.  The tension was reaching a fever pitch as I ran my paw up his thigh.

Then he stopped me.  He pushed me away.  "I can't do this."  He said, looking away ashamed.  "This isn't right.  I...  I just can't..."  Then he got up and walked out of my hut.  I didn't even get up to follow.  I knew it would do no good for me to even try to protest, so I sat there in silence.

I was shocked and dismayed.  So close, but still so far.  I thought I had ruined everything.  A crystalline tear welled up in my eye then found it's way down my cheek.  What was I to do now?  I just sat there, alone and dejected.  More salty tears found their way out of my eyes.  I just put my face in my paws and let them flow.  The only other sound in the room was the still crackling fire.  The warmth of the flames brought no comfort and it's light no joy.

The sun may as well have been ripped from the sky.  It was all my fault.  I pushed to much, to far, to fast.  I had lost the one whom I had always wanted to spend my life with.  It was stupid really.  If I had only let him go at his pace instead of mine, he would have still been sitting there, watching the fire burn itself out with me.

I cried myself to sleep.  Perhaps tomorrow would bring better tidings...

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

So, we brought our fresh kill back.  Well, Graypaw brought it.  I wasn't about to touch it.  I felt dirty just watching him dress it.  Yeah, I was no hunter.  I'll leave that to those who either don't mind or even enjoy that type of stuff.  He brought the carcass to the hunting lodge where it would be butchered and the skin turned into leather.

I couldn't get out of that lodge quick enough.  So, as I rushed out Graypaw finished up whatever it was that hunters do back in there with their prizes.  After a few moments, he came out.  "Was it really that bad?"  He asked.

"Do you really have to ask?"  I responded, every word dripping with sarcasm.  "I'm just not a hunter.  I should have known better than to try.  Oh well, I was glad to have spent some time with you."

He tried to hide the smile that was forming.  "Shall we just walk instead?"  He asked, jestingly.

"If you don't mind."  I said, breathing a sigh of relief.  No more horrible acts or sights for at least a little while.  So we set off.  We walked through the village.  As we passed a hut that was a bit rundown.

A Bastog woman, came running out, "HEY!  HEY YOU!  Have you seen Steven?  Steven is supposed to be bringing me my dinner."  Then, I recognized her.  It was Lilly.  Most people avoid this hut.  She kept several cats in her small hut.  Lilly was a little, well, to put it nicely, irrational.  Ok, she was crazy.  Sometimes she stood on her lawn, throwing balls of yarn at passers-by and other times she would ask about this "Steven".  No one knew who "Steven" was or if he even existed.

"I'm sorry, Lilly we haven't seen Steven.  Maybe he's coming later..."  I said as we slowly backed away.  We were hoping she would just loose interest if we could just get away far enough.  After several steps, she did wander away.  On her way back to her home, she started singing, "Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.  A kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?..."

Crazy.  Just crazy.  "Well, that was fun."  I said.  Graypaw just shook his head.  "We should be more careful where we walk."  We moved away from Lilly's home as quick as we could.  Almost a run, in fact.  "Would you like to come over to my hut for some dinner perhaps?  I promise there are no crazy Bastogs there."

"I guess I could come over for a while."  He responded, looking around.  He must have been afraid someone might see him say that.  I was amazed he agreed to that proposition.  So we headed to my hut.  He did look around at the door to make sure that no one saw him go in.  Well, at least I got him there.

Ready, Aim, Fire!

Finally I got the walking quietly thing down.  Then it was time actually try to shoot something.  Well, wouldn't you know it, I wasn't really skilled with a bow.  I'm sure you're shocked.  So we stalked up on this deer who was grazing.  I pulled up my bow and knocked an arrow.  I aimed down the shaft at the heart of the buck.  I drew the bow string back, tensing not only the bow, but my own muscles.  I could feel Graypaw's eyes bouncing back and forth between me and the buck.  I think he was nervous.

I felt I had a good shot, so I loosed the arrow.  It flew straight and true.  The problem was that it dropped short, just grazing the buck's belly, not doing any damage at all.  Well, I never claimed to be a hunter, right?  The buck of course ran off like a shot, not interested in being skewered.

I looked at Graypaw, who was shaking his head.  So I strung my bow over my shoulder.  "Oh and I suppose you would have hit it square on then?  My aim was perfect.  I pointed right at it's heart."  I huffed.

"Well there's your problem.  Your arrows aren't weightless.  They will fall as they travel.  You need to aim higher based on the distance to your target.  Here, let me show you."  He pulled my bow off my shoulder and put it into my paws.  He then stepped behind me, and traced my body with his.  "Now, let's aim at that knot in that tree over there."  He said pointing.  Then he put his paws over mine, his body pressed tightly too me to show me proper stance.  He pulled my bow and knocked arrow up.  I had aimed where I thought I should.  "You're still aiming too low."  He said pulling my front paw up a little higher.

Then I saw what he meant.  He released my paws and whispered in my ear, "loose".  I let loose my arrow.  Sure enough, the arrow flew right into the knot on the tree.  Even though it seemed I was aiming too high, it landed right where I wanted it too.  "Well done," he said.

He hadn't let go yet.  I wasn't about to say anything, enjoying the comfort of his touch.  I wondered what was going through his head.  It wasn't all that I was hoping for, but I certainly wasn't complaining.  It wasn't long before he did finally release me.  He made sure not to mention it.

We then tracked the buck down again.  This time, the "expert" decided to show me his skills and landed a beautifully clean shot, killing it almost instantly.  The buck dropped to the ground.  We went over and Graypaw pulled out his hunting knife, slitting the beast's throat to make sure it was dead.  No need for it to suffer.

It was then that I remembered why I didn't hunt...

My Teacher

So Graypaw was back up to his old tricks of watching me from the bushes.  I was careful not to show that I knew he was there.  I knew that he just wanted to watch me and not act, afraid of his own feelings.  I was sure he would come around in time.  I just had to be careful not to push.

I wanted so badly for him to just jump out of those bushes and tackle me.  He was comfortable staying back and just imagining, I guess.  I had to find a way to get him out of his shell.  I knew deep down inside he wanted more, but I had to be careful how I worked to bring that out.

I needed to get him alone, somewhere that he's comfortable.  I'd have to take him hunting.  I knew he enjoyed hunting.  I was not a hunter by any means, but that would help me get him to go.  I could use the premise that he could show me how to be a great hunter.  It was genius.

So, I went up to him one morning and asked.  "Can you teach me how to be a better hunter?"

"Of course!"  he responded, all to excited to be giving tips on something he loved.  So we grabbed a couple of bows from the hunter's lodge and he started to walk toward the practice range.

"No, I mean show me out in the field.  I want to see you in action, where you can really show me how it's done."  I told him, grabbing his arm and pulling him out toward the hunting grounds.  He was resistant at first.  Then he let himself be lead.  I let go of his arm, so as not to linger too long.

We went out into the hunting grounds.  Graypaw was so graceful, tracking with silence.  My clumsy paws dropping hard, making Graypaw cringe with every crackle.  Finally, as a twig snapped under my paw he looked at me with half pity, half frustration.  "We'll never catch anything if you keep scaring all the prey away," he sighed at me.

"Sorry."  I said, embarrassed.  I'll try to be more quiet.

"Try stepping like this," he said showing me.  "And watch where you are stepping.  Try to avoid stepping on things that will make noise like dry grass or sticks.  So I started staring at my feet and tried walking forward.  "Well, that's a little extreme.  What I mean is you need to be aware of your surroundings.  Not literally watch your paws at you walk."

Of course.  Could I look more stupid?  At least I had him alone.  In time I would be able to make my move...